Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation

NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL

Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now

DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack

Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft

Device Prevents Nick Nolte From Driving

Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years

Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast

Study: Alzheimer's Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer's

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power?

Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

Mean Automakers Dash Hope For Flying Cars

Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

The Onion Movie- Smoking Ban

Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'

Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars